I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
