I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Randomize
