i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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