she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol