She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
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110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.