Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.