Christians are straight up FREAKS
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
