Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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