1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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