Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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