he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
