Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
