im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
