I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
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