Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
