id be glad to
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You ruined the universe
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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