I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
This is my gift to your gina
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize