I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
