I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
