is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
