dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
