How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
