We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
