my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
