I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
