I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
