i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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