Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
