it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
only if we run a train.
done.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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