you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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