how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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