i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Sorry my hands just texted you
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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