Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
