i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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