Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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