508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We need to rekindle our bromance
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize