I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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