THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
