He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
