I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
