Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
