So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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