tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
