I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I intend to get homeless drunk
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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