This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
