around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
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every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
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I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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