Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
