Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
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