I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
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So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
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You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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