I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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