I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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