Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
