sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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