Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He called his prostate his "boner button".
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
