We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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