Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
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