is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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