I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
