Me too!
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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