Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
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