he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
