I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize