Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
